So. I've made up my mind. Final decision is in. Actually my brain has been telling me to do this since God knows when, but my heart keeps getting in the way. My heart and brain don't get along very well, ya know. But really, you shouldn't have any time for anyone who harasses your worth. Therefore, he's no longer on my MSN, YIM, and Friendster. His number isn't in my N-gage memory anymore. His 15 minutes of fame in my life are over.
Yes, I know it's hard, since he's my koko and we had good times together, albeit mostly online. But surely I don't want to be known as The Voice or The Option. I want to be known as Nana, a human being with feelings and intelligence. And alas, he's failed to notice it.
On to a tons happier note, there was a family gathering (dad's side) at a relative's house in Villa Cinere Mas this afternoon, and golly gee, I had no idea I was related to one of the country's music legends! And that music legend was my childhood idol! If you grew up in Indonesia during the 80's and early 90's, I bet you remember Dodo Zakaria, a prominent musician in those eras and probably earlier. Truth be told, I don't really remember him, but I sure remember singing along to one of his hits that goes, "Kau, gadis manis berkepang dua..." (translation: "You, a braided sweet girl...") in the earlier stage of my childhood. Heck, I even remember asking my mom to braid my hair, just like the two girls in the video of that song, and my mom would often refer to me as her "braided sweet little girl." LOL. Ok, back to the present. How did I find out that Mr. Zakaria is my relative? Well, that house in Villa Cinere Mas is his, and in the living room there are awards that he received at his peak of fame, one of them being a 1986 BASF Award (Indonesian Grammy) for the album in which the gadis manis song (I still don't know the title) is included. How spiffy! So I didn't know I sang to Uncle Dodo's hit most of my early childhood...but had I known, I would've boasted about being related to him at school. Hehehehe :) And guess what, just tonight my dad told me he and Uncle Dodo went to the same high school!
Monday, August 30, 2004, 12:28 a.m.

Meet Isyana Adriani Arslan, an immature-looking multiracial 21-year-old. Although she's better known in both the internet and real life as Nana, strangely enough, she's known to a particular guy only as 'The Voice'. Why 'The Voice', because this guy, despite being one of her close friends (or so she thinks) for nearly three years, sometimes forgets her name but always remembers her voice. What's weird about it of course is his permanent ability to recognize Nana's voice even though he only gets to hear it approximately five times a year. Even weirder, it's the voice that he dreads the most whenever it's time for him to go back home in Indonesia, causes unknown. However, being such a curious person that he is, he always lets Nana know when he's home and even gives out his cellphone number, only to see how far she'll go, hang up on her as soon she says hello, and divert her calls.
Ok, back to Nana. Although she always thinks the guy is a pain in the butt when he's in Indonesia, she continues the friendship anyway because that guy's always back sane when he's at school in Germany, sending her songs that he plays himself or mixes on his computer and listening and responding to her blah blah blah. But it's no longer that way now. She's too pissed off by her guy friend's misdemeanor that she's been considering ending the friendship.
Her final decision is for everybody, including herself, to guess.
Sunday, August 29, 2004, 12:47 a.m.

Every great lioness has to know her roots. Yesh. When can we start my free Turkish lesson, Sezai beyefendi?

This is my breakfast replacement before I recently caught flu. Coffee-flavored diet milk.

My breakfast a few days ago. What do you think it resembles? A flour sack or a pillow? Whatever, but it's very healthy, coz it's made of green tea, sausage slices, flour, raisins, and honey. Yum!

Lia and I went to Blok M Plaza and bought stuff, one of mine was a pack of Korean-made sanitary wet tissues with a bonus of Korean Honey Soft pads!

Don't hate me coz I'm close to your boyfriend. If he had been interested in me, he would've ended up with me instead of you, right? Think about it.
Saturday, August 28, 2004, 04:30 p.m.

Here's the musical that best describes my current situation...

"I'm sorry that you seem to be confused. He belongs to me. The boy is mine(1)," says a girl to another about her boyfriend. "He's into what he's got. He loves me, he loves you not(2)," says the girl again.
"I try to pull you closer closer closer but you leave me feeling frozen (3)," says the other girl to the guy she's having a major crush on.
And the guy doesn't say anything because he forgets his line.

Fast forward to the end, and the moral of the story is: It's impolite to hang up before the person on the other end of the phone does, but it's much more impolite to deliberately hang up on the caller before s/he says anything other than hello.

Lyrics taken from:
(1): The Boy Is Mine, Brandy and Monica, 1998
(2): He Loves You Not, Dream, 2001
(3). Malchik Gay, TATU, 2002
Wednesday, August 25, 2004, 05:43 p.m.

Oh god. PMS sucks. Everybody knows that. Even men do. Your boobs swell and hurt. Your hair gets dirty quickly. You sweat even the smallest things (see my previous post). Not to mention the emotional rollercoaster.
Prince Charming. Knight in a shining armor. Happily ever after. They're strictly for kids.
This is 01:25 in the morning. Ok. Cross your legs. Count to ten. Breathe in. Breathe out. Concentrate. Yeesh. I see a yogi. He lies on a board full of nails, and oh my God, he bleeds! Eeep! Ok, now I see an archer, middle earth style. Think Legolas. Wonder why I see this coz I'm no Legolas fan. Holy cow, he's aiming at me! Eeek! Now I see a...wait a minute, my hair itches. It ruins my concentration in whole! Bah! I'd rather go back to reading Rene Foss' Around The World in a Bad Mood and stay up all night if I really have no other choice!
Tuesday, August 24, 2004, 01:08 a.m.

Nana. 21 (as of May 14, 2004). Spring baby. Avid reader. On-off clairvoyance. Arab-White-Indonesian by ethnicity, Indonesian by nationality. Senior year at Universitas Indonesia (a.k.a The School of Hard Knocks). Pioneer spirit. Been on Friendster since June 2003, LJ since July 2001, blogging since May 2001, and online since July 1997. Proud member of The Single Circuit. Baby blue and baby pink. Brandon Lee (RIP). Shin Koyamada. Makes all-around nice layouts (though not highly skilled). Online quizzes. Sign her guestbook or check out her archives.



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