Nana. 21 on May 14. College senior. Mood swings. Mild phobia of paper, severe phobia of blood. Eldest of two. Mixed. Jet black hair. Untalented violinist. Online quiz junkie.

I've been at this URL since April 2003, but overall I've been on Pitas since January of the same year (I'ved changed URL twice). As for the layout, this is my third birthday layout (the first one dates back to April-May 2002), and was made using Abode Photoshop 7.0 and manual HTML (yep, coz I've never got the hang of Dreamweaver). All images are created by me and therefore copyrighted to me. Stealing is strictly prohabited.

HAPPY KARTINI DAY TO MY FELLOW INDONESIAN FEMALES! Be thankful to this great lady, gurls...Had it not been for her struggle, we female youngsters would've been full-time homemakers with three children by age 18 and much older husbands! And university/college would've been a wishful thinking for us! Although, well...I wouldn't mind being married to my last ex, with six gapping years between us! LOL. Somehow, I miss his lust over my youth.
Ok, before I go on, be warned...this entry is sort of R-rated, therefore those under 17 are not recommended to read. But I'll leave the decision to you, so don't tell me you weren't warned. Read at your own risk. Well, it was clear that this guy dated me out of pure lust. I remember shuddering in his arms when he told me that hadn't had sex in three years, and now that he had a virgin teen as his girlfriend, he'd like me to grace his bed before my teens were out. We'd been dating for only about two weeks by then, and I swear I felt like a sacrifial virgin! And then throughout the 5,5 months of our relationship, time and again he asked me to have sex, and my answer was always "Not now honey, I'm tired/busy/having period" until he dumped me. LOL. It's funny how I remained a virgin in spite of the lust of all four all of my ex boyfriends! Oh and in case you're curious why I stayed with him despite his sex-crazed nature, the honest answer is that I felt really special alongside him. I mean, in his mid twenties and prolific career, he'd normally have chosen a girl of the same level, but instead he opted to be with a teen-aged college sophomore that was myself! Not to mention the fact that he was an alternative to my previous boyfriends who were all my age! So yeah, right now I miss him so damn much...I wanna have all those shuddering moments of him telling me how he loved my nubile freshness...And did I mention that he shocked me by asking to meet my family only after a month of dating? None of my other ex boys did that! And he did meet my family mum, bro, maids, two aunts...
By the way, that talk aside, here I am betraying my own words...Heheheh. You really can't count on me when it comes to hiatus! Anyway, I'm just taking a break before moving on to the next hw. Have just finished one...
Wednesday, April 21, 2004, 09:27 p.m.

This is a very busy week. And I've got nothing to say. I'm busy til next week, so from this moment on I'm on a short hiatus. But before I'm off I'll leave with something to perv on (yeah right!). LOL.

I got my hair ironed for a mate's wedding last Sunday! LOL. I took the pic after getting back from the wedding, in my fave PJ's (that's why you often see them in my pictures). Oh by the way "Bunu seviyorum" in Turkish means "I love it!"
Tuesday, April 20, 2004, 10:46 a.m.

This is just a series of rather sad thoughts...

  • Yiki, Jean, Orchid, Jeff, Henny: THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH for having friendships which have stood the test of time. You guys are unlike most of the people I know who regard me as one of their close mates, but after some time realize I'm not that cool, and dismiss me. You know how cranky I can be, yet you still accept me as I am, with all my plusses and minuses. You guys rock my world!

  • God, there are much more ungrateful people than I think in both the www and real life...

  • Y' would've been better if you had shown disinterest in being my mates right at the beginning, rather than after we've had good times together. It just wouldn't have hurt as much

  • I never try to join your cool passe. Just being your "outsider" mate is a pleasure for me, as long as we can have good fun together!

  • One day when I'm rich and famous (amen! Alter ego: Dream on!), I'll treat you the way you treat me now.

  • Wait a sec. I needn't do that. God will avange you for me, and Its revenge is much crueller than mine can ever be. I'll just sit back, enjoy, and laugh. And I don't need to wait until I'm rich and famous for that moment!

  • You know what, I used to befriend a girl who gave people the things they didn't wanna hear right at their moment of need of the things they wanted to hear. She always did that on purpose, and silly me, I actually thought she was cool. It wasn't until she did that to me that I realized she was a horrible mate material. Good thing we're no longer on speaking term.

  • I'm learning a lot from this unpleasant experiece, and at times like these, I'm not ashamed of my growing number of age.

  • In conclusion, never, I mean NEVER, be too nice/kind to people. It'll just scare the shit out of them and they'll treat you like shit after a while, no matter how sincere you are. If they're really interested in being your mates, then they'll do the job for you...not the other way around.
    Friday, April 16, 2004, 07:06 a.m.