There. He screwed me again. I know I should've learnt, but what can I say...I couldn't help falling. He was everything I want, making me feel wanted and stuff. And above all, he cared for me. He didn't mind me interrupting him anytime, anywhere. Someone I can talk about anything and everything with. He was my cuddly teddy. I hadn't gotten that in ages, plus my ex boyfriends and parents and practically my extended family in general are no big fans of hugs. Thus so far I only get hugs from Orchid and him. And there will be no more hugs from the latter.
Oh well. No need to stay blue for long, do I? Before long, he'll dump her, go back to me for a looong while. Cuddle, talk, kiss, phone, and screw me again. Yes I know the cycle. I'm the cover for his singledom.
So yeah, I'm in two clubs now: Single Circuit and Girls For Bad Boys.

Kenapa kalian ngga pernah bales SMS saya? Ogah2an terima telepon saya? Emang saya terlalu jelek yah buat jadi temen kalian? Saya ngga pake contact lens karena saya alergi, tapi tenang aja...sebentar lagi saya bakal kurus lagi kayak dulu! Saya lagi diet nih. Doain yah biar cepet selangsing kalian!
Monday, August 23, 2004, 07:53 p.m.

HAPPY BELATED 22ND WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, MOM AND DAD! You guys really should consider this an achievement. I mean, not many couples stay married for over two decades when they have to cope with two messy demanding moody babies aged 18 and 21.
Don't you just hate conceited people? I mean, conceited in this other way that I don't even know how to explain. But let me put it this way. People who demand their mates to be perfect they disown them once their mates make one or two mistakes, without any explanation or announcement. Who do these peeps think they are? Dieties? It's amazing how the proverb 'Nobody's Perfect' is actually non-existent in their books. And you 're far from perfect yourselves.
I went to my aunt Dini 's house this afternoon, mainly to see her daughter, who I hadn't seen since her aqiqah over a year ago. And my oh my, my baby cousin Nisa is SO beautiful! It's so apparent despite her toddler age. I wish I had brought my digicam so I would've been able to take her pics and put them up here, so years from now when she's known as a celeb she can say, "My cousin Nana was the first to publicize me. She put my pictures as a baby on her website!" Hahah LOL.
Sunday, August 22, 2004, 11:22 p.m.

So be it. I've decided to switch from my current minor, advertising, to tourism. Just can no longer stand having arguments with people who, despite two consecutive years of studying the basics of crap-selling-and-brainwashing-all-rolled-into-one, still have the wrong idea of positioning and can't do SWOT analysises. As for my tourism subjects, I'm gonna take South East Asian Cultures and Tourism Culture, which are worth of 5 credits altogether, which are more than I'm supposed to take. But aaawww whatever. Anything to be close to cum laude. I still haven't written an appeal to the dean about the minor change, but I'll get to it later. Don't you just find it extremely difficult to be formally polite when your school stands in your every way to be free at last, free at least, thank God almighty I am free at last?
I really can't reveal my secret website to best mates, even the most understanding ones. It would only ensure them that I need to get my head checked. No kidding. I can get really crazy at times (doesn't everyone have his/her own flip sides?) and the site is all about the crazy stuff I'm addicted to lately. And no, that's not smoking pot.
Y'know what, even though I'm not sure I will EVER tie the knot for I'm really not a wife material (I mean, I can't even cook fried rice!), lately I have plans of how to raise my kids in my head. Queer, huh? My mom succeeded in raising a booklover (a.k.a me) by buying me encyclopedias, as well as Japanese comics, mags (I was a Bobo kid!), and books about folk tales from around the world. She also read me bedtime stories in the form of fables. I'm gonna do exactly the same to my kids. Next, we all know kids can be so cruel early on, and I wasn't prepared for this fact when I was a kid, so I got bullied very often. I'm gonna tell my kids right from their day one of kindergarten that the outside world is so cruel, thus the only way to survive is to defend yourself and stand up for your beliefs. And I will never home-school them. I'll have pre-school, clubs, and camps in store for them, other than school. My mom's other footstep that I refuse to follow is the way she built my self image. Or, should I say, my early self image. When I was a kid, she used to tell me I wasn't smart enough just because I never scored well in math and science. Therefore, I ended up thinking I was a dumbo and always looked up to my mates who did better at school and those people probably knew I looked up to them because they took advantages of me. It didn't stop until I was 14, when I found my talents. I'll tell my children early on that they're smart in every single way, their way.
And dream on, Nana! Like you'll ever get a wedding band around your finger! It's never gonna happen!
Friday, August 20, 2004, 10:35 p.m.

The UI. Oh my god. How I loathe thee. I remember beaming and boasting about going to this so-called Harvard of Indonesia during my first years. And I still did, until I have this problem. Imagine having to ask for the dean's approval for every single change? I really didn't have to wait for the dean to say yes when I changed my minor lingo from German to Turkish. New dean, new everything. Fucker. All my vacation plans are also fucked up. No London, no Japan (for me, not my bro), and although the trip to Malaysia is still in the talks, it's unlikely to happen. Don't ask.
The only thing cheering me up is my income. Oh yeah.
Thursday, August 19, 2004, 10:25 p.m.

HAPPY 59TH ANNIVERSARY, INDONESIA! Long live and BE MATURE! It's high time you realized those foreign countries have been depleting you off your riches instead of helping. And snatch back our Tempe from that goddamn US of A! Well, happy independence day to all my fellow Indonesians, young and old, the alive and the dead, the healthy and the dying, wherever you are! Sekali merdeka, tetap merdeka, yo! Or, on the more sarcastic and ironic note, Yang muda mabuk, yang tua korup. Jayalah negeri ini, jayalah negeri ini. Merdeka! (Ahmad Band, title forgotten, 1998) (trans: The young is drunk, the old is corrupt. Long live the country! Merdeka!)

The Independence Day carnival, held by almost every neighborhood. Picture taken earlier today from my room window. That's my grandparents' house on the left, with the car and the swing which was handed down to my 13-year-old cousin Marsha from me and my bro.

Merdeka (adj; formal): To be free of something.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004, 12:19 p.m.

Nana. 21 (as of May 14, 2004). Spring baby. Avid reader. On-off clairvoyance. Arab-White-Indonesian by ethnicity, Indonesian by nationality. Senior year at Universitas Indonesia (a.k.a The School of Hard Knocks). Pioneer spirit. Been on Friendster since June 2003, LJ since July 2001, blogging since May 2001, and online since July 1997. Proud member of The Single Circuit. Baby blue and baby pink. Brandon Lee (RIP). Shin Koyamada. Makes all-around nice layouts (though not highly skilled). Online quizzes. Sign her guestbook or check out her archives.



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