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What flavor Jelly Belly are you?
This quiz was created by Doll Paradise

Yeh...pretty much me. Whatever.
I've just conversed with my best mate Orchid's latest ex boyfriend, Marcel. They broke up Thursday last week, and it was Marcel who did the breaking up. He dumped her through an email, and the reason was that his mom didn't approve their relationship. Orchid didn't believe that since she'd never met his mom, and tried to call Marcel to no avail. So she asked me to talk Marcel to calling her whenever I found him online, hence the recent chat. Marcel explained everything to me. He said he didn't make the reason up, and it wasn't that he didn't want to call Orchid. He just couldn't bear hearing her voice because he admitted to still loving her and he knew Orchid suffered from his selfishness (she often complained to me about this when they were still together). All in all, he's swamped with guilt. Anyway, as I was chatting with Marcel, something hit me. What Marcel's currently experiencing might've occured to my last ex, Inco. Eight months ago he dumped me through an email, his overwhelming job being his only reason. And he's refused my calls since then. I realized maybe hatred wasn't the reason why he declined my calls, but it was the inability to bear hearing my voice instead. Same as Marcel, hearing my voice would give my last ex pain. He would want to come back to me despite the time he ought to devote to his job. Oh well...this love thingie is complicated ain't it...I saved my conversation with Marcel for Orchid.
Anyway, still related to love, I know I'll never hit it off with Andy...but boy, do I love making a list of the stuff we have in common! Y'know...I've just found out one more thing we have in common, so here goes the list:
  • Our starsign is Taurus (him:1982, me:1983)

  • He shares a birthday with my soul sister (Jean), while I share a birthday with his youngest half bro (Dion)

  • We're both mixed (him: German mom and Chinese-Indo dad, me: part Dutch mom and part Egyptian dad)

  • We like staying invisible on ICQ

  • We both suffer from an acute digestion problem

  • Wednesday, August 27, 2003 06:20 p.m.


    What I feared finally happened. No, I'm not mad at him, but rather at myself. This is the second time he broke my heart yet I didn't seem to learn from my experience. I always thought he'd change. Little did I know it was a mere wishful thinking.
    The moment he broke my heart, I pretended to be all smiles and vigorous and even offered him my support, the hell with my true feelings. Once he was out of earshot, I cried. I felt like a loser, so unworthy. But still, this bloke and I can still be mates, regardless of whose arms he's in, as long as I keep pretending everything's ok. Yes I can do that...hell, I'm good at that. I've been doing this kind of pretense to Jeff for YEARS and we're still best buds. Thank you Yiki for being all ears, and rewelcome me to Pretenders Anonymous.
    Random shout-outs: Hen, what do you mean by my "signature style"? You mean the simple tables that clearly show my lack of skills? Hahaha :) L, I tried to leave a comment on your comment book, but the thing just didn't work. Yea I know I should've taken a pic of him grinning ear to ear! Then I'd put it up here and my blog would be full of lustful females...Hehehehe :) But we're just not gonna meet each other again until we come to our senses. That may take ages. Don't ask.
    Monday, August 25, 2003 06:25 p.m.



    I didn't watch that movie. The Kirsten Dunst movies I watched (Jumanji, Interview With The Vampire, Little Women, and The Tower of Terror) are the ones in which she was still a kiddie actress.
    Anyway, I hate feeling this way...y'know, in love. It feels good when you and the bloke are already an item, but not when you're sure the bloke doesn't have any feeling for you. You feel hopeless and stupid at the same time, yet you just can't help worrying your biggest fear will happen. I know we're both up for grabs and have known each other for a while, but apart from our starsign, current status and preference to stay invisible on ICQ, we really have nothing more in common. Looking on the bright side, I'm glad I'm eventually able to fall in love again. But fear not...I'm not gonna be dangerously in love as I was with Pipi.
    I know this is VERY out-dated, but as I was reading my aunt's old issues of "Check and Recheck", I found this article about Abdullah Gymnastiar, one of the very few of Indonesia's respectable ulemas, suggesting dangdut sensation Inul Daratista watch a live performance of Siti Nurhaliza, a Malay diva. AA Gym (the name the ulema's better known as) obviously expected Inul to be like Siti: fully clothed, no so-called erotic dance moves and lipsync in every live performance. To make it short, he expected Inul to copy Siti. He definitely forgot that it was Inul's "drilling" dance moves that set her apart, and are what people all over the country like the best about her. Not to mention that it's her best selling point. While Siti's best selling points are her goody two shoes image and the fact that she's never caught lipsyncing at her live performances. Every artist has their own trademarks that make 'em stand out, unique.
    Sunday, August 24, 2003 07:02 p.m.



    My least favorite Shakira song...
    Anyway, here I am spending another weekend at home. It's better this way though, than seeing hormone-crazed overdressed teeny boppers in the city. I can't wait to be stuck in a beautiful Irish or New Zealander small town next year! Only twelve months to go baby!!! Nunique: The guyz at E-store still have my poster on their wall? How nice really! I made it over a year ago! Since E-store has lots of students and I haven't been there again since January, I bet the posters they made have covered all the four walls of the study! Did you talk to Pak Bastian or Pak Eko? Had I known you went there, I would've asked you to convey my best regards to Pak Eko and Pak Bastian...
    Rani, one of my best mates, on my somewhat disastrous date with Andy (there are some embarassing details about it which I didn't mention in the previous entry): "Nana...he flew from Surabaya to Jakarta expecting to see a princess, not a jeans-and-tee girl next door with bad hair day and the ability to polish off pop corn and nachos during a movie! Move on girl, find a Mas Kuncoro who's not as cool as Andy, but can tolerate your bad hair days and eating habit!" Ouch! Thanks Rani, that's...deep. I know she was half kidding when she said that, but...nevermind.
    Saturday, August 23, 2003 07:35 p.m.


    Quick recap of my first date with Andy today...

  • First off, the clothes I planned to wear were still in the dry clean service until tomorrow. Panick stricken coz I only had about 10 minutes to be at Taman Anggrek (where we planned to meet up) on time, I picked out whatever clothes that came to mind: a plain pair of jeans and a tight jeans jacket with a plain pale pink tank top underneath. Plus a headband for my hair. I looked like a mess, I know.

  • Andy turned out to be SO DAMN GORGEOUS. Especially when he shows off his pearly whites. He has this right dose of Eurasian looks, so nobody will ever mistake him for being monoracial. His body's pretty damn hot too! Hm...doesn't that get you drool...

  • We saw "The Gathering". If you love "The Secret Garden" with Kate Maberly, I guarantee you'll love "The Gathering". Beautiful British country scenery...And no, we didn't make out. We just cuddled instead and y'know what, during the movie there were FOUR technical interruptions and TWO phone calls for him so long he had to step out of the theater to talk to the callers. Hah!

  • Unlike me, he didn't enjoy the flick. He said I turned him on but the flick turned him off. Whatever that meant.

  • After the movie ended, we met my bro and his new girlfriend in front of Hartz Chicken Buffet. After a brief introduction, we walked our separate ways. If I said earlier that no one would mistake Andy for being monoracial, forget my statement. When we got home, my bro asked me if Andy was a full blood white.

  • Andy also turned out to be English and Indonesian deaf, thus most of the time I had to repeat my sentences (in either English or Indo) once or twice or else he would've misinterpreted me. But after a while I began to think maybe he just pretended to be so to get me practice my Deutsch. However, since he knows pretty damn well that my German blows and there's no chance that I'll give it another try, the only German that came out of my mouth were, "Hallo, mein groz brueder, the escalators are over here!", "Ich vermisse dich," and "Wunderbar!"

  • He went home first. Before he hopped on a taxi, he said we should meet again when he came to Jakarta again. I couldn't prove it, but somehow I sensed a lip service at work there. Not only the flick which turned him off, but myself as well. And after I got home, I realized I looked ever messier. Oh well...At least I had fun!
    Friday, August 22, 2003 12:11 a.m.