my giant shell...

I screamed...and now I do more than scream...
Okay, I'm supposed to be working on my Shakespeare essay. It's 3,000 words in length and I'm really not sure if I can get it done on time, although I promised my tutor to hand it in on the due date (which is this Monday for those uninitiated). Dear God help.
But before I resume working I need to vent my anger. I've been soooo anguished these past several days and although I can easily blame it on PMS everytime I'm PMS-ing I get mad over the exact same thing. This can't go on forever. Either I must break the cycle now or spend my greying days at some mental ward.
You see, I used to befriend this girl (let's call her Alexa) for over two years, since my first week in NZ to be precise. I had a very bad first impression of her, but decided to give her a second chance anyway since I believed she couldn't be that bad. Anyway, to keep a long story short, Alexa and I turned out to have different ideas about pretty much everything, especially boys. Alexa reckons that a guy has it bad for you when he calls you every half an hour, buys you all the luxury the world can offer, and wouldn't go ballistic at you even if you killed his entire family. You shouldn't accept a guy's love unless he presents you with a precious family heirloom. He just wants to be mates if he buys you a rose bouquet only on Valentine's Day and your birthday and is only available on weekends. Well that was fine with me, but problem is she wouldn't leave me alone with my own ideas on the matter. She would taunt me when we exchanged accounts on stuff like the boys we talked to at uni. Even when I told her a cute good friend of mine that I had no feelings for smiled at me when we ran into each other on the street she would go, 'And you think he's got a crush on you?' with a mocking smile. Then she would yak about how she had 20 admirers back home in Indo and 30 in NZ until we had to split ways. Everytime I was reminded of this and agonized over it (PMS or no PMS) I would tell myself to keep her because she could be a fun companion at times. However, I've been holding it a secret that the way she treated me haunted me to the point of hearing her mocking me about my relationship with my guy friends in general, in my head. One notable example is when I invited this guy (let's call him Nathan), a mutual friend, to my birthday BBQ back in May. A bit of info, Nathan and Alexa went to the same high school and he was crushing on her for a good four years before getting with his current girlfriend. Nathan RSVP'd but cancelled at the last minute. The night after the BBQ, I went to the shop Nathan worked at to bring him slices of my birthday cake. I stayed for a while to have a chat, and on my way back I kept hearing Alexa's voice ridiculing me about what I just did to Nathan. Nattie is one hell of a hunk and Alexa always prided herself on having him head over heels for her no matter how hard she played to get. For the record though, I've never had any feelings for Nathan. That isn't the only time Alexa haunted me. Pretty much everytime I interract with a guy I would hear Alexa say, 'Just because he asked you for your digits doesn't mean he has a crush on you, darling,' in my head. So yesterday I decided enough was enough. I deleted her off my MSN and Friendster and made up my mind not to talk to her ever again. I have doubts that the haunting will stop anytime soon, but gradually it will.
Boys aren't the only thing I have issues with her about. The entry below is aimed at her. I understand that as the eldest of three she's very hell-bent on her duties of correcting her younger siblings where they need correcting, but the world will be a better place if she limits the correcting business to her siblings instead of branching it out to other people!
Hokay. Must get back to Shakespeare's comedies now.

Listening to: Emma Bunton - She Was A Friend of Mine
Saturday, September 8, 2007, 04:42 p.m.

some people need to exit my life fast part zwei
If your sole aim in life is to fix me in any imaginable way, I have only one piece of advice for you: Run for dear life. Run before horns (be it a bull's or the devil's) spring out of my head.
Sheesh. You're not my mum, you're not a shrink (even if you're one in the making), get over it. Good luck finding new potential victims.

Listening to: 'N Sync - Bye Bye Bye
Thursday, September 6, 2007, 06:23 p.m.

the bard
Oh Shakespeare, how I wish thou hadst ne'er existed...
I'm on a mid-semester break now yet it doesn't really feel like a break.
BECAUSE I HAVE AN ESSAY TO CATCH UP ON. Due next monday, the first week of school after the break.
And it's Shakespeare's comedies.
Good lord in heaven help me.
I wish I had a robot as smart as that Maria Audrey Lukito chick. It would only take her a day to study the whole material, a day to write the entire essay, and score me an A+! Sweet as :)

Listening to: Alsou - Snow Queen
Wednesday, September 5, 2007, 09:28 a.m.

the latest care package...
Ok, my mum's umpteenth care package arrived yesterday and there's this cute Zara tee...with a pretty scary print. For me at least. The print depicts a few creatures which seem half human and half snake. That's right, beautiful girl heads on snake bodies. Imagine the horror. My mum knows pretty darn well I despise (well, more like terrified of) anything relating to snakes. Even eels and worms scare the freak out of me. So why the heck did she buy me that tee, although it's cute and from one of my fave labels? Oh mum. HOW COULD YOU?
Perhaps she wants to kill me since now that the dork has given up on Japan I'm the family's main parasite.
Scary as it is, I still keep the tee in my wardrobe. It will go perfect with my psychadelic tote bag which mommy dearest also included in the package. But of course first I must gather the audacity to wear it...

Listening to: Dimitri from Paris - A Very Stylish Girl
Sunday, September 2, 2007, 02:01 a.m.

i wanna have your babies, i see them springing up like daisies, uh uh uh...
Lesson of the month: Never tell a guy you want to have his babies if you don't mean it.

Listening to: Natasha Bedingfield - I Wanna Have Your Babies
Friday, August 31, 2007, 12:48 a.m.

the lunar moon
Last night I witnessed a lunar moon. Very gorgeous. Red and black. But what preceded it was even more gorgeous, a bright, HUGE full moon. Think wolves cry to it.
They say the lunar moon only appears once in fifty years. I usually don't give a damn about that kinda stuff, they can say such-and-such happens once in a millennium and I would shrug it off. But last night I did make a big deal out of the occasion. I texted my mates to come out and witness the natural wonder.
If you live on other parts of the world watch out for the moon. Get your camera ready and make sure it's of high quality. Hahahaha. Had I known the moon would appear last night I would've taken out my Casio Exilim. My Sony Ericsson 2800i camera was crap...

Listening to: Savage Garden - To The Moon and Back
Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:13 a.m.
19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. Grew up in Indonesia, currently resides in Auckland, New Zealand. UI alumna, a third year at AU doing a BA in English Literature and Films, next stop is either Yale or NUS. Into photography, world music, graphic design, and whatnot.
Stalk me:

The picture was taken by yours truly in Northhead, Devonport, on April 21 2007 using a Nikon D70 belonging to The University of Auckland's Photography Society. As usual, the layout was coded by me and other images except the ones for fanlistings, cliques, and quizzes were created by me as well using Adobe Photoshop 7.0. Don't steal.


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