Thank you to everyone who has given me their piece of mind! Yea I should enjoy life, especially my holidays because I will certainly miss it once school or work starts. Heheheh. Anyway, I had a girls' night out with Henny last night. We had coffee at the only 24/7 Starbucks in town, having a super chatty girl talk...And across from out table sat a bunch of totally Arab-looking blokes. And my oh my, was I surprised when they turned out to SPEAK INDONESIAN! Y'know...I have this weird thing concerning Arab Indonesians. When I meet Chinese Indonesians, I'm sure as hell that they speak Indonesian, without their uttering a word, but it's not the same with Arab Indonesians. Well, I'm a part of them...no, wait a minute. Not really, because I've never lived in any Arab Indonesian community, as opposed to most Chinese Indonesians who live within their communities. Plus, I don't look half as Arabic as my brother and those blokes at Starbucks. Hell, even my brother, cousins, and my dad don't feel Arabic despite their looks and heritage most of the time. When they get into trouble with Arabs in general, they will bitch about "those bloody Arabs." Yet when they're asked about their ethnicity, they'll say they're of Arabic descent.
As for me, when I was in high school there were three Arab Indonesian girls I was friends with: Samira, Mumtaza, and Mila. Even though my bond with these girls weren't as strong as my bond with Orchid and Henny, I definitely could relate to them. And y'know what, when Mila got married in July 2002 and her best mate Dwi invited me to her wedding via the phone, he said, "Yeah, her parents picked out her husband. You know those Arabs...Hey, you're supposed to marry young too, right? Aren't you an Arab Indonesian?" I was speechless for a moment before answering, "Oh no, that doesn't apply to me!" Come to think of it, what would happen to me if I had lived most of my life in an Arab community? I would have probably been married off to some Arab bloke I barely knew in my late teens.
Yep, that's a small slice of my life...A third culture kid in my own hometown and country. If you want to a third culture experience without having to be an expat, try to live in any community that doesn't consist of people of your ethnicity. Like me, someone with racial uncertainty (I grew up believing I was full blood Indonesian, yet I had a European-looking great grandma living just a 30-minute drive away from home and calling me a Dutch name until I was 4, and people just can't seem to stop commenting on my looks and comparing it to that of my "Prince of Egypt" bro's) having grown up in Chinese and Eurasian communities.
On a totally irrelevant note, I'm scheduled to take an IELTS test on this July 10, as required by Griffith or whatever university I'll be going to in early 2005. The test will be my second, because I already took an IELTS test way back in July 2001, long before my courses at The UI started. My mum asked me to take the test to measure my progress in English, and I took it without any preparation. Last week, a lady from Global Education asked me to take a second IELTS test because my first one has already expired (for those not in the know: IELTS test is valid for a little over two years tops) and she asked what I scored in my first test. I said I scored a band 5, which was an embarassing score because I'd already graduated from EEC with super flying colors long before I took the test. I was sure of the score because that was what my mom kept telling me, although she had NEVER actually shown the result paper. And y'know what, as soon as I got off the phone with that Global Edu lady, my mum came out of her room with MY FIRST IELTS TEST RESULT PAPER and guess what my actual score is? A BAND 6, which is not bad at all! Well, at least by the standard of someone who didn't know how to write an impressive academic essay and pronounce some big words correctly! But still, I sort of hate my mum for having made me convince I scored such a low grade for THREE GODDAMN YEARS! My god, I must've sounded like a dumdum to that Global lady!
Tuesday, July 6, 2004, 08:29 a.m.
growIf you’ve ever been a 21-year-old female, you’ll remember how it felt to be a disoriented, directionless newborn in a world of grownups.
Not going anywhere tonight, and there's no one in the house but me and my maids. Hehe. Will put up pics of my nieces and nephews on my LJ soon. Then read Girl Anatomy by Rebecca Bloom, which I borrowed from Limma just today. Finally, a chicklit after a month of a dead serious analytical book titled Off White Hollywood by Diane Negra. Life is heavenly when you don't have school to think about...then why should I stress out? I was in lots of pain entering my teens (or puberty), and now I'm the same way entering adulthood. When I was 14, I was surprised to find myself interested in everything sexual, and people around me didn't seem to want me to grow up. I remember when I was 14, crazy about Taylor Hanson and enjoyed being in a band as keyboardist, my dad held a family court with me as the suspect. I was deemed a bad girl for having things I later found normal in teen girls. I remember him saying it was crap dreaming about being Taylor Hanson's bride (although I knew perfectly well that I shared the same dream with millions of other girls all over the world) and that I didn't have the talent to be in a band. For the latter, I guess he was just irritated that me and my band mates used his studio for free. At 15, I was all about rebelling I was kicked out of my 1998 summer school (don't ask). Not to mention my aunts and older girl cousins who overreacted about the fact that now I had a thing for boys! So whenever they were around, I was like, "I AM 15. Need I say more?" Aged 16 to 18, I struggled with both school and topsy turvy relationships. Nineteen and twenty, stable enough. Now 21, it seems like people expect me to be a whole new person. Grow up, be sophisticated, pink is only for little girls, get a job, get a driver's lisence, and 1001 other demands. Can I take things slowly but surely, please? Why do other girls around my age seem to be cool with their own 'coming of age'? Or am I just a loser? Please tell me I'm not.
From the MTV Asia
review on Jessica Simpson's sophomore album Irrisistable.
Sunday, July 4, 2004, 07:35 p.m.
I'm still at home. Yep. My departure to Bandung has been postponed until today at 02:00 PM. Yeh. Scheduled to drive back to Jakarta tomorrow, probably in the evening, and then on Saturday I'll be off sleeping over at JW Mariott. Y'know, the hotel that was bombed not even a year ago. Actually I'm a little bit scared, but since we sleep over for free because dad's got a voucher from American Express, so why not.
Anyway, a book that was originally published in 1991, Mimi Elektrik (simply translates to Electric Mimi) by Zara Zettira, has just hit local book stores again with no change (reportedly) in the story and a new cover. Well, I'm no fan of Mimi Elektrik, but I'm a HUGE fan of Zara's other book Rasta dan Bella (Rasta and Bella), which she co-authored with Hilman (who's best known for his Lupus, Olga, and Vanya series, all of which have been made into movies and TV series) in 1990. I first read the book when I was in grade 4, and by now I don't know how many times I've read it. Now since Mimi Elektrik has been brought back to life, I want the same for Rasta dan Bella, but if it comes true, the novel will have to undergo a few changes. One example, the names of Rasta and Bella's mates. They're all named after late 80's/early 90's idols such as Jon Knight (NKOTB), Tommy Page, Jason Donovan, Debbie Gibson, and Rob Lowe. These names are most likely to sound unfamiliar to today's teenagers (a.k.a the novel's target readers) who were born at the same time as the peak of the aforementioned stars' fame. Secondly, the settings of the novel are the teen hangouts which now no longer exists. Not to mention the 'background' songs...But still, the book's comeback has my full support. Can't help wondering what Rasta and Bella's mates will be renamed...Perhaps Hilary and Lindsay? Gareth and Craig? LOL. Where will they hang out? Plaza Ex and Cilandak Town Square, definitely!
Thursday, July 1, 2004, 12:21 p.m.